The Reluctant Time Traveler

THE RELUCTANT TIME TRAVELER




"JE PENSE, DONC JE SUIS"


       The next day was Saturday, and I didn't have to work.     Mrs.  Peele and I were taking a little nap on my lazy-boy recliner when I found myself in the presence of Kronos in the void.     I felt sorry for Kronos because I had been in a very silly mood all day.     I am usually a little silly if given the chance, but this was a major silliness attack, like the time that a girlfriend and I were kicked out of the "Candle light walk for families and friends of cancer victims who have died."   So the banner read.     Anyway, we couldn't ascertain if the family members and friends had died, or just the cancer victims.     So, of course we had to ask, since we were just walking past the park where the solemn event was taking place. And since we both had close relatives, (my step father and her mother), who had died of cancer, we figured we had a right to be there.     We didn't, at the time, realize that it was by invitation only.     We only found this out later when they were kicking us out.  
        I am a great believer in rejoicing in the face of death.   After all, it is we who are still here in the shit.   I am convinced that our dearly departed are feeling more sorry for us, than we for them!

ARM FARTS

        I became a bit irate, telling the lady with the growly face, that had it not been for that evil tattle-tail woman with the big titties walking in front of us, everything would have been just fine.     The woman with the growly face, making it obvious to us that she was an adult, stated in an unkindly manner, that "Arm farts were not appropriate in this setting".     Of course, we both decided, with a look, to do more than just arm farts, (which we found, no matter how hard we tried, to be impossible because we were laughing so hard), as they escorted us all the way out of the park, which, by the way, was public.

TWELVE ADDITIONAL UNIVERSES

        Kronos was all business.     "I am going to cover several difficult concepts, so I want you to be serious, and interject right away if you have a question."   I nodded my head seriously.     Kronos continued.     "Let's see.   We were about to discover twelve additional universes.     If you recall, from our earlier talks, there exists between the black and white universes, twelve separate individual universes forming a vibrational stair step.     Relative to the duration of the black and white universes, the in-between-time" is almost imperceptible due to its relatively extremely short duration."   He said, with great intent.  

        Vibration goes from black to white, thus forming the twelve universes we have looked at.     But, when vibration returns from white to black, it is in the exact opposite sequence, and forms what seems to be an additional twelve universes.     However, these twelve form a mirror image of the original twelve, which brings into being the concept of a fourth dimension, in just the same way the original twelve formed the third dimension." ("As a way of clarification, the up-stair step is actually the fundamental fourth dimension, and the down-stair step is the fundamental third dimension".  Author)

HORSE PUCKY

         "Are you sure this isn't just a load of horse pucky?"   I kidded, giving my mind a break.     Taking me seriously, Kronos continued.     "Remember that creation is done with smoke and mirrors.     In other words, all of creation is an elaborate illusion, that is reality to us.     This is neither good or bad, it is just what was necessary to accomplish such a seemingly impossible feat.     So, this discovery is no more strange than any of the other discoveries we have talked about.     We are stuck with the fact the that we exist.     All we are doing here is putting together the pieces of the original puzzle that was necessary to create the illusion."   Kronos paused.     I commented, in the only french phrase I know, which was usually very difficult to work into a conversation, "Je pense, donc je suis", better known as, "Cognito ergo sum."   "I smell therefore I am."   (Paraphrasing Descartes).     "Actually I am amazed."   I chirped   "I tried to guess where the additional universes would be found, and had to give up!"   Kronos looked at me with little hope in his eyes.

         "I will give you a general rule, and with it see if you can find the fifth dimension.     Kronos gave me a little evil smile.     He was such a playful child at times.     I was sure this was his way of giving tit-for-tat.     "The rule is a simple one."   He said.     "When you find a configuration, let's use the original twelve universes as an example, look for another configuration that is its equal and opposite.     Having found it, merge the two together to form a new, unique and entirely separate, configuration."   He paused.     "Once you have a complete configuration, start looking around for its equal and opposite, and so on.    Any questions?"

         "I think I understand."   I said intelligently.     "Here, let me run it by you and see if I've got it or not."   To me, Kronos was like one of those great big family dogs to which the kids could pretty much do anything they wanted, and it would never get upset.     I appreciated the fact that he was so patient with me.     I really didn't want to take him for granted, or seem ungrateful, but, I felt so at ease with him, and it was so much fun to tease him that at times I just couldn't refuse.   He was the perfect "straight man".   Plus, it was in my nature.     After all, I didn't want to pretend to be someone else.     "I've got to be me...."   I hummed in my best falsetto.

FIND THE FIFTH DIMENSION

         Kronos finally gave me that look, you know, the one that your mother gave you when you were starting to get out of hand.     Kronos continued.     "I believe you have enough information to find the fifth dimension."   "Yes, of course."   I lied.     Let's see, hmmmmmm.     Well, I guess one would merge the third and forth dimensions together to form a new one, the fifth dimension."   "Very good!   He said getting excited.     I was getting excited too.     "Now, how would you access the fifth dimension?"   "Hmmmmmm, let's see, we actually found the fourth-dimension by using this rule.   The third-dimension has a mirror opposite which is the fourth-dimension.     So.....I would have to assume, according to the rule, that since we have already found an opposing pair, the third and fourth dimensions, they must, somehow, form the fifth-dimension."   I said proudly.  

        " Well, yes, he said, but what I meant was, tell me how does one access the fifth-dimension from there?"   I thought and thought.     I didn't have a clue.     "I don't have a clue Kronos."   I said, feeling a little stressed.     "Kronos laughed.     "Think about it some more, out loud this time.     I will help you if you stray too far from the farm."   He said still laughing.     Kronos was beginning to sound like me, I thought, poor fellow, I will probably have totally corrupted him by the time we finish.  

         "Suddenly, I had an irrepressible urge to do my, (what I thought to be flawless), W.  C.  Fields impersonation.     "Ah yessss......reminds me of the time I took a drink of wa-ter.     Kronos was still waiting patiently.   He was good that way.

Associés Dans Le Crime

         This was just my way of dealing with stressful situations.     I had been, along with my various "associés dans le crime ", asked to leave, one wedding, two funerals and a candle light walk for victims of cancer.    I had been silly all of my life.    It was a behavior that probably wouldn't soon change, without a concerted effort on my part.    I remember having been asked to leave the room, as early as the first grade, for being too silly.    But, for dear Kronos's sake, I was going to, starting right now, work very hard on curbing my impulses.    "OK, I said, two things come together to form a new and unique entity formed from two previously unconnected entities.    But, how can one possibly access said latter entity, eh?   I paused, hoping that Kronos would jump in and help me.  

         Kronos just shook his head.   "You were doing so well.    He laughed.    Was that Cary Grant you were doing, with the drink of water?"   I was not amuse.    Kronos continued.    "By the way, that was a trick question.   "You mean about Cary Grant?"  Kronos smiled.  "No, about, how does one access the fifth-dimension from there?"  Although the rule works on paper, it will not work in practice."   He paused.    "The reason for this is, there is another rule that says, one can easily move in consciousness, from higher to lower, be it vibration, or universes, or dimensions.    But it is nearly impossible to move from lower to higher without special training.    This is why you couldn't access the fifth-dimension.    It is a little like trying to fly.    You can easily accomplish this feat by starting on the roof of a ten floor building and proceeding to ground level, but nearly impossible to reverse this process.

         "Wow! I am starting to get a handle on this!"   I exclaimed excitedly.    "In other words, it is kind of like a diode in an electronic circuit, which will allow current flow in one direction, but not the other.    "Exactly, Kronos agreed."   I continued.    "But I still don't understand how someone could access, say, the fifth-dimension, even with special training.    Perhaps you could explain how this could work?"   I inquired.

STAIR STEPS

         I could tell that Kronos was enjoying himself.    "These stair steps occur in a definite sequence, one after the other.    This is the actual beginning of "linear time", and because it is linear, the up-stair case will not "see" the down-stair case, nor will the down-stair case "see" the up-stair case, because they happen at different times .    They appear in linear time as that of a continuous circle .    We are seeing them as occurring coincidentally, because we are seeing them in "non-linear time", where everything is happening at the same time.   You see Curtis, in non-linear time, all an event has to do is happen a single time, and it will continue to happen virtually for ever!   This is without exception, so be careful what you do, because you will continue to do it for ever!   Kronos, sensing that my concentration was flagging, said.   "We will continue this tomorrow.    There may be a little quiz in the offing."   He smiled beatifically.  

         I startled Mrs.  Peel with my sudden return.    We both sat there in the dark together, man and beast.    Opposites blending as one, I thought, as we drifted off to sleep.    "You know what?"   I whispered to her.   "I forgot to remind him again."

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