I hadn't seen Kronos for a while, and although I was still sober, I found myself sleeping in the back of my mothers pickup truck again, you know, the one with the camper shell . I had a lot of trouble keeping a girlfriend. They couldn't wait to get me, and once they did, they couldn't' wait to get rid of me. I figured it was just a conflict of interest. They wanted me to work, and I didn't.
We were back in the void. "Kronos." I sniveled, feeling very sorry for myself. "I was thinking. I still believe that somehow you got the wrong person. I mean, do you have any idea what a flop at life I am? I mean I've got kids that won't speak to me, I can't seem to hold a job or a relationship. My mother says I need a keeper. I don't mean to question your abilities about doing your job, but just out of curiosity, what kind of criteria did you use when you picked me? I mean, I think you could have gone into any biker bar and thrown a dart in the dark and found someone better than me!"
Well curtis, I think we have been through this before. The why and how doesn't matter,what does matter, is that you are here and I am here. Proof of the putting don't you think?." He said in a fatherly manner. "Yeah but......" Kronos gave me that look, and I shut up.
"Now, where were we." Kronos said, getting down to business. Do you have any questions before we go on to the next lesson?" "Yes I do!" I said defiantly. "I still can't understand where "vibration" comes from! I know you said you didn't know, but you must have some idea, don't you?" Kronos laughed. "Of course, but it is only my belief." I looked up at Kronos. I felt I had to get an answer to this or I was going to quit! "It is driving me nuts!" I said, getting emotional. "I don't like to have unanswered questions banging around in my mind."
Kronos thought for a while, and then said, "Mastery of God consciousness is a misnomer. The beauty of it is that it is never ending. Meaning that no matter how much you learn, or how God like you become, you will still have an infinite ways to go. Knowing that, would discourage some, but believe me, this is what makes the whole thing so wonderful and worthwhile, that it is never ending! That is the nature of God consciousness in relation to any other kind of consciousness and, I believe, the "true" goal of evolution. In fact, if you ever find yourself believing you have "arrived", let that be a red flag to let you know that you have dropped out of God consciousness, and into something else."
I had never seen Kronos so serious, but I was not to be put off. If I didn't understand this, then how could I understand anything? "Well, are you going to tell me or not?" Kronos smiled and said. "My aren't we feisty today. I don't mind sharing anything with you, whenever feasible, but I have tried to keep to what I believe is provable, or at least what I have already proven to myself. All else to me is just supposition, a belief in something I haven't proven to myself yet, call it faith I guess."
It was strange and almost endearing to find Kronos on unfamiliar ground. He became like a sweet child as he spoke. His aura, which was usually a bright white, turned to a soft light blue with a pinkish tint. I felt kind of bad I had confronted him so, but damn it, I had to be who I am. If I was too intimidated to ask a simple question, then what about next time and the time after that. I wanted this knowledge, and the gifts that accompany it, more than anything I had ever dreamed of. This is why I so wanted to get it right the first time, with nothing left out.
Without warning, Kronos suddenly became huge! Bigger and bigger! He turned from blue to white, brighter and brighter! Lightning began shooting out of his eyes. The noise was terrifying! With a giants voice, he boomed, "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" He was suddenly back to normal size, for him. "You just scared the crap out of me kronos!" He smiled as though nothing had just transpired.
"Just making sure that I had your attention. There will always be a nagging something that you can't seem to understand no matter how hard you try. This something is the "key", for you, to the next level. Always look for it. That you can't seem to understand vibration and where it comes from, is the key that will get you to the next level. When you get there, you may still not understand what vibration is, or where it is originating from, because it is like an arrow pointing the way. When you are ready, you will follow this arrow wherever it leads. But for now, we have a long way to go before you will be ready to make that leap. He laughed to himself, "One small step for Kronos, one giant leap for Curtis." He looked at me tenderly. Be patient my son....be patient."
Kronos sure knew how to make dramatic exits, for I suddenly found myself back in my mothers truck wondering what I had gotten myself into? Maybe I was becoming a "fish out of water!" Or maybe I would awaken from one of our "outings" to the void, to find myself in a padded cell, arrested for healing without a license! The worst part was that I had no one to ask. I knew I was completely alone in this endeavor. No one with whom I could confide.
The part of me that felt I surely must be nuts, also felt that I couldn't last much longer. Something had to break!